We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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