i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
