no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
