is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
