I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
