I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
