if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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