Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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