guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You are a genius and a whore.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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