I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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