You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
