The maid of honor just puked.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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