There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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