Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
