Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
