omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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