Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
