You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
