Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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