There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
