and she was petting her beer can
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
