Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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