im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
