we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
