just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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