Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
