I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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