His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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