he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
