How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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