I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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