Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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