WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
