Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think i have two assholes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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