Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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