She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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