I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
