So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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