Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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