i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
