Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
