Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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