i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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