Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
