when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
