Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
