Screwed.edu
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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