she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
