My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
