My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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